Thursday, January 22, 2009

#945 Lazydork’s Baby, On/Off Campus, Oath Round 2, Drastic

Show 945 Thursday 22 January
Watch today’s show at YouTube or BlipTV.

Hi, I’m Sarah, welcome to The Daily English Show.

The video I recommend today is by Lazydork – he’s one of the people on YouTube whose videos I really like. He makes some very funny comedy videos … well he used to anyway, he hasn’t really been doing that lately. And he’s also a great story teller. He and his partner have just had a baby and his latest video is talking about the birth. It’s very entertaining and informative. He tells us what an induction means: Now for those of you who don’t know an induction is for a lazy baby who refuses to come out. And he goes on to explain it in graphic detail.

In the Acadia Report today students at Acadia University were asked if they prefer living on or off campus.
If this was in New Zealand the question would probably be: Did you live in the halls in your first year or did you go flatting straight away?
Because usually people only live in a hall of residence for their first year, and then they go flatting after that.
I think it’s different at other universities in Canada, but at Acadia University a lot of people actually live on campus in a residence hall for the whole time they’re at university.
And if you’re planning to study abroad then it’s something you’re going to have to think about – where are you going to live? There are advantages and disadvantage for both options – so you’ll have to weigh all those up and come to a decision.

The Acadia Report
at Acadia University, Nova Scotia, Canada

Do you prefer living on campus or off campus?

Ah, I prefer living off campus because, one, ah, I’m with my friends there and I know everyone I live with.
Ah, I enjoy cooking for myself, I don’t have to deal with meal hall or, ah, going there. And I can take care of myself a lot better. And, ah, I don’t deal with security at all. I don’t have anyone hassling me for drinking in the lounge or wherever I want. I can do what I want in my house.

Living on campus is kind of better than living off campus. Because, I mean, you get free meals, technically, I mean, it’s paid for and you don’t have to cook it and all that stuff. But this year, it it’s kind of iffy because I mean with the increase in meal plan, I kind of maybe prefer to live off campus because it would have been cheaper for me. But that’s the only reason, I think.

I prefer residence to the apartment, because, if I stay residence I can make many friends around our, our rooms. If I stay in apartment, sometimes it is far to go to school. But residence is on campus, so it is very easy.


Kia Ora in Stick News today for the second time this week Barack Obama has taken the oath of office.

John Roberts has been the Chief Justice of the United States since 2005.
The Chief Justice’s job includes administering the oath of office at the inauguration of the President.
On the 20th of January Justice Roberts administered the oath of office at Barack Obama’s inauguration – but he made a mistake.
So, just in case, they re-did the oath the next day.
It’s not the first time the Chief Justice has screwed up the oath of office, in 1929 the Chief Justice said “maintain” instead of “protect”. Apparently he eventually acknowledged his error, but did not think it was important.

And that was Stick News for Thursday the 22nd of January.
Kia Ora.

TDES Niseko Snow Report
on Annupuri Jumbo #4

with Ernie

Where are you from?
Ah, from Sydney, Australia.

How would you describe today’s conditions in Annupuri?
Annupuri’s great, um, the tracks are really soft and the back country’s the way to go today. It’s, ah, soft … there’s still soft, soft powder today and just a smooth run all the way down. Just a lot of fun.

Is your first time in Niseko?
Yes, it is.

How did you find out about Niseko?
Ah, my mates came here last, last year and they just couldn’t stop talking about it. So I made a visit today, yeah, this year, yeah.

Where do you usually go snowboarding?
Ah, normally, I’ve been to New Zealand a few times. Ah, Whakapapa and Queenstown. And then, normally, just Sydney, like Threadbo, and that area, New South Wales ski area, so … nothing like this though, this is great powder.

How long are you here for?
I’m leaving on the 20th but I’ve been here since the 28th so I had a three week stay here.

Do you think you’ll be back?
For sure. As soon as I get back to Sydney, I’m going to organize my next trip back here. Next year sometime. Yeah, another three weeks probably. Just so much fun.

Word of the Day

Today’s word is drastically.

Drastically is kind of like very but more extreme.

In the video Lazydork says: My life is drastically different than it was the last time that we spoke.

And here’s a random example that I found online: this report concludes that the United States is drastically underfunding local emergency responders.

conversations with sarah
#591 What didn’t you like about it?

Step 1: Repeat Pete’s lines.
Step 2: Read Pete’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Pete Did you prefer living in a hall of residence or in a flat?

Sarah I liked them both. But a year was definitely enough of living in the hall.

Pete What did you like about it?

Sarah I met some great people there. I still keep in touch with a few of them actually.

Pete What didn’t you like about it?

Sarah Hmm … one bad memory I have is one of my neighbours playing a song called Breakfast at Tiffany’s over and over really loudly, it was so annoying.

Pete You don’t like the song?

Sarah No, I hate it.

The Birth

Hello everybody, ah, I’ve been meaning to do this but I didn’t really know what to talk about because, ah, my life is drastically different than it was the last time that we spoke. I had a baby. Uh, my daughter and Lauren’s daughter’s name is Sabrina. She is the greatest baby in the world. And I’m here to talk to you about the day she was born.
Ah, it was a day like any other except that it started at about six o’clock, six o’clock in the morning because we had to be at the hospital, ah, for Lauren’s induction. Now for those of you who don’t know an induction is for a lazy baby who refuses to come out. Ah, during an induction they break your water or rather, not your water, or mine, but hers. And then they give her Pitocin which is what the body naturally produces to start labour.
Now when they broke her water, actually I wanted to talk about this, what they do is they take this large knitting needle, it’s like a large macrobane (?) needle, uh, and they take it out of the plastic and, you know, you open your legs, and they put the needle in there, kind of move the baby … both their hands are like in your vagina at this point, they lift the baby’s head and they “hurgh” underneath it, pop the bag, alright and then the amniotic fluid comes out. That, I wasn’t not prepared mentally for that so I started getting light headed and, ah, I you know blood came out and I was like, ahhh, so I, I had sit down on the ground. I got like a cup of water and like everybody was doing their thing … And the doctor looks at me and goes: What? What are you doing on the ground? She’s like: Did you faint? And I was like I’m fine, don’t worry about me.
Cervix dilated like that. It went, it went from like a one to a three to a five to like a nine … in, like, I don’t know, how long?
It took from the moment they …
From the moment we got injected to the end. How long?
Eight hours.
Eight hours. Now it seems like a long time, but believe me, it flew.
You watching this at home, you kids, who are say, oh man, he’s having a … old man … before you know it you’re going to be in that hospital room, OK? You’re either going to be on the bed or you’re going to be on the floor. Either way, you’re going to be in that room before you know it.
And those eight hours flew. You know, they give you the ice chips. I was feeding her ice chips the whole time. Because you’re not allowed to eat anything. You’re sitting there, eight hours, can’t eat, ice chips, the whole deal.
Ah, nine centimetres and the nurse goes: All right, I’m going to get the doctor, cause, in fifteen minutes you’re going to have a baby.
When you hear those words, then you know that shit is real, OK? It’s like, kind of having this, “Oh, I’m having a baby, oh, it’s so fun, let’s go buy it clothes.” To, twenty minutes?! Now, twenty … I mean I’ve waited for flights for longer than twenty minutes, you know, I’ve waited in traffic for longer than 20 minutes. In 20 minutes, I’m having a baby.
So, whatever, we sit there, 20 minutes, get ready … you know … getting ready to push, the doctor comes in … and starts talking to me about my camera of all things. She’s like: Oh, that’s a nice camera. And Lauren’s like ten centimetres dilated. And I’m like: Yeah, you know, it’s a Canon, it’s real nice. She’s like: It’s wonderful I have an Olympus … it’s …
I was like shut up, doctor, and deliver the baby. So … I’m like: What do I do? And the nurse goes: Grab a leg. OK, I grab a leg.
So Lauren, like a champ, just goes: Ugh, and bears down. The key is apparently to bear down like you’re trying to take a shit. Ugh, like that, but you can’t blow it out, you’ve got to hold your air in your lungs, bear down and push that baby out, right.
After about 20 minutes, I’m holding her leg. Push, you can do it, you can do it, come on you’re doing great. Urrgh. Come on, just one more push, go on, just give it to me, come on one more time.
Urrrgh. Head’s out and looked down.
Now, the vagina, at the moment of birth, is, without a doubt the raunchiest sight you’ll ever see in your life. It looks like a jello mould that fell on the ground. Strawberry. It is fa-nasty. As I say, it’s like being, it’s like being at the Shamo show in Seaworld and sitting in the splash zone. You know, if you’re not wearing a poncho, you were warned, you know.
But anyway, so, heads out, I look down … and then sticking out, you know, between the legs, is a little head. You know. Eyes open! I couldn’t believe it! I was like … Push! You know, pushes, woop, shoulders come out … baby’s out! Hit it, starts crying. And, ah, cut the cord, the whole deal. And we have a daughter.
It was truly incredible. Ah, if you go to my Flickr site you can see her. Which is - all the pictures you want.
Anyways, a bit of pleasure. I hope to see you soon and I hope this turned out well. Otherwise I just talked to a camera for like ten minutes for nothing. Good bye.


today's news
today's STICK NEWS pictures


show start
artist: Boom Tschak
album: Indietronic CCBit.
track: More Chocolate, Please
from: Former Yugoslavia

The Acadia Report start
artist: DJ iPep's
album: Home Mix 2007
track: Concerto
from: EVREUX, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

nsr start
artist: Zeropage
album: Ambient Pills Update
track: Is It Real?
from: Switzerland
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

WOD start
artist: DJ iPep's
album: Home Mix 2007
track: Game Toy
from: EVREUX, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

cws start
artist: Wolfgang S.
album: Indietronic CCBit.
track: Dynamite
from: Belgrade, Serbia, Former Yugoslavia
artist site

qa start
artist: ioeo
album: triptracks
track: triptrack2
from: Saint Raphael, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

qa bgm
artist: Kevin MacLeod
track: Vulcan
artist site
YouTube channel

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