Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Show 30 Tuesday 2 May

Watch today's show at grouper or YouTube.

Golden week special 2: Blonde Jokes

These are the jokes I talked about on the show:

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: Why did the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

Q: What do a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Here are some more blonde jokes:

Q: How do you get a blonde’s eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice for an hour?
A: Because it said concentrate.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's twink/white-out/correction fluid on the screen.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said “From 2-4 years”.

Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.


Read more blonde jokes here.

Show 29 Monday 1 May

Watch today's show at grouper or YouTube.

It's Golden Week in Japan! What is Golden Week?

This week the shows are different than usual.
Every day there will be a different show on a topic to do with English.

Mon 1 May: Golden Week special 1: proverbs
Tues 2 May: Golden Week special 2: jokes part 1 - blonde jokes
Wed 3 May: Golden Week special 3: jokes part 2 - knock knock jokes
Thurs 4 May: Golden Week special 4: gestures
Fri 5 May: Golden Week special 5: spot the spelling mistake - English signs in Japan

Saturday and Sunday ... wait and see!

Golden Week special 1: Proverbs.

I talk about these proverbs on the show:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Beggars can’t be choosers.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
It is no use crying over spilt milk.
No pain, no gain.
Practice makes perfect.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Variety is the spice of life.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
You can’t judge a book buy its cover.

Plus the Japanese proverb: Hana yori dango.

Some more common proverbs:

Actions speak louder than words.
Boys will be boys.
Easier said than done.
Great minds think alike.
Ignorance is bliss.
It takes two to tango.
Like father, like son.
Look on the bright side.
Never say die.
Patience is a virtue.
Revenge is sweet.
Seeing is believing.
Silence is golden.
Strike while the iron is hot.
The early bird catches the worm.
There are only 24 hours in a day.
There’s no place like home.
Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
Two is company, three is a crowd.
When the cat’s away, the mice will play.
Where there’s a will there’s a way.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too.


Check this site out for English proverbs.
Check this site out for Japanese proverbs.