Show 1001 Thursday 19 March
Watch today’s show at YouTube or BlipTV.
Hi, I’m Sarah, welcome to The Daily English Show.
Today I’d like to recommend an online video series called Jake and Amir.
I only found out about them recently – but after watching a few I became a huge fan and then watched them all and then downloaded them on to my iPod, so I can take them to class.
I think they’re great to study for many reasons. Firstly, they’re very funny - well, I think so. And the characters are very easy to understand. It’s two guys who work together in an office and Jake is normal and Amir is very stupid. Often part of the joke involves Amir not understanding certain basic words or using them in the wrong way. So it’s pretty interesting for language study I think.
For example, in one video, he doesn’t understand what gay means – well he understands one meaning of the word gay, but not the most common meaning.
And in another video his mispronunciation of some words gives away a trick that he’s doing. He’s trying to have a normal conversation with Jake which is difficult for him to do because he’s so stupid, so he has paid his co-worker, Patrick, who’s sitting at a desk near him, to type the answers and he looks at the answers on his computer screen and reads them. But he gets caught out partly because he pronounces some words wrong when he’s reading them. He says defiantly instead of definitely. And he says T-rex (because that’s how Patrick has obviously spelt it) but if a word had a hyphen you don’t actually say hyphen … as you probably know, unless you’re like Amir.
Anyway, I highly recommend you go and check out their videos if you haven’t already. You can find a few on YouTube, but most of them are on their site: jakeandamir.com
The Acadia Report
Acadia University, Wolfville, Nova Scotia, Canada
In the Acadia Report today I wanted to tell you about a movie that was filmed at Acadia University. Well, part of it was filmed there last summer.
The movie is called Amelia and it stars Hilary Swank, Richard Gere, Ewan McGregor and some other people who I haven’t heard of.
Apparently it’s coming out in October this year. And it’s about a woman called Amelia who was “an American aviation pioneer and author who disappeared in 1937 during an attempt to make a circumnavigational flight of the globe”.
It sounds like an interesting movie and I really want to see it, especially to check out the scenes that were filmed at Acadia.
STICK NEWS
Kia ora in Stick News today a man in New Zealand has been jailed for five months after he sold half a gram of salt.
A 38-year-old man sold what he said was a recreational drug called methamphetamine. But it was actually salt. The New Zealand Herald reported the salt dealer was busted when the customer confronted him the following day. They had an argument and the police were called.
And that was Stick News for Thursday the 19th of March.
Kia ora.
TDES Niseko Snow Report
in Hirafu
A couple of weeks ago we saw a fox hanging out up in the ski village. The people waiting at the bus stop looked pretty excited to see the fox too. Lots of people were taking photos.
Word of the Day
Today’s word is sparing.
adj. careful to use or give only a little of something
And sparingly is the adverb.
And the example here is: Use the cream very sparingly.
In one Jake and Amir video they’re doing an online nutrition quiz and the question is:
How many times do you eat fast food in a week?
And Amir answers: sparingly, which sounds like a good answer, but Amir doesn’t actually know what sparingly means, so Jake says: Amir, what does sparingly mean?
And Amir answers: All day, every day, every hour.
conversations with sarah
#630 Are you gay?
Step 1: Repeat Amir’s lines.
Step 2: Read Amir’s lines and talk to Sarah.
Sarah Oh, hey Amir. Uh, I heard you and Mike are really hitting it off.
Amir That’s a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?
Sarah Are, are you gay?
Amir What?! God, no. Why?
Sarah I mean, you know Mike’s gay?
Amir OK, I’m not going to stand here and listen to you talk smack about him behind his back.
Sarah Amir, it’s not a bad thing.
Amir Yes, Sarah, it is. Gay means bad like if I wanted to insult your shoes and they were bad or whatever I’d be like hey, you have gay shoes. You have gay shoes.
Sarah Amir, gay means homosexual.
Amir I know. What does that mean?
notes
I think "talk smack" is American English. It is not used in NZ English.
about him - this isn't in the original script, I added it in by mistake
filming notes
* The fox was filmed in Hirafu at around 11:15pm on Saturday 7th March 200.
links
today's news
today's STICK NEWS pictures
* Acadia newsletter about movie filming
music
show start
artist: Boom Tschak
album: Indietronic CCBit.
track: More Chocolate, Please
from: Former Yugoslavia
MySpace
The Acadia Report start
artist: DJ iPep's
album: Home Mix 2007
track: Concerto
from: EVREUX, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site
nsr start
artist: Zeropage
album: Ambient Pills Update
track: Is It Real?
from: Switzerland
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site
WOD start
artist: DJ iPep's
album: Home Mix 2007
track: Game Toy
from: EVREUX, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site
cws start
artist: Wolfgang S.
album: Indietronic CCBit.
track: Dynamite
from: Belgrade, Serbia, Former Yugoslavia
artist site
MySpace
qa start
artist: ioeo
album: triptracks
track: triptrack2
from: Saint Raphael, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site
qa bgm
artist: DovEporTar
album: Test night n. 1
track: Il sigaro a meta
artist at Jamendo
album at Jamendo
Did you notice a mistake in this script? Please leave us a comment and tell us! We really appreciate people pointing out our mistakes.Thank you.
Have you translated this script - or part of it - into your language for English practice and published it on your blog? Please leave a comment and a link so other people can read your translation. Thank you.
Jake and Amir Transcripts + Study Notes
Realizations
Sarah Oh, hey Amir. Uh, I heard you and Mike are really hitting it off.
Amir That’s a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?
Sarah Are, are you gay?
Amir What?! God, no. Why?
Sarah I mean, you know Mike’s gay?
Amir OK, I’m not going to stand here and listen to you talk smack behind his back.
Sarah Amir, it’s not a bad thing.
Amir Yes, Sarah, it is. Gay means bad like if I wanted to insult your shoes and they were bad or whatever I’d be like hey, you have gay shoes. You have gay shoes.
Sarah Amir, gay means homosexual.
Amir I know. What does that mean?
Sarah It means that Mike wants to have sex with you.
Amir So you think Mike’s a woman? Trust me, he’s not.
Mike Oh hey guys.
Amir Oh hey Mike. I was just leaving.
Mike Hey Amir, do you want to go to the bathroom together?
Amir Sure, meet you in the men’s room.
Mike Same stall?
Amir For sure.
Hey Jake, it’s Amir, I hope you don’t mind, I put this song on your iPod. It’s about your name so …
J is Jake and A is for apple, nothing starts with K and E is for elephant. I just thought of something that starts with K, it’s carrot, yo it’s carrot!
This next one’s like a hard core rap song, so maybe turn down your iPod. Yo! Motherf…
NOTES:
Why is it funny?
* Amir’s use of the phrase “that’s a bit of an understatement” is strange. If he thinks they are just friends, the normal response would be something like “yeah, he’s great, we’re getting on well”. But by saying “that’s a bit of an understatement” Amir sounds like he’s trying to say that they are much more than good friends – ie he is gay. But he isn’t …
* Amir knows the slang meaning for the word gay (bad), but he doesn’t know the most common meaning (homosexual).
* Amir doesn’t know what homosexual means.
* When Sarah explains “It means that Mike wants to have sex with you” – Amir comes to the most bizarre conclusion “So you think Mike’s a woman?”
* Amir thinks that Mike wanting to go to the bathroom with him (in the same stall) is a sign to Sarah that Mike is definitely a man – whereas it is clearly a sign that Mike is gay and hitting on Amir.
* Amir doesn’t know how to spell carrot.
* Amir is a terrible singer.
Nutrition
Jake Ha ha. Oh my god.
Amir I’m still here.
Sarah Let’s give Amir the quiz.
Jake No, it’s just going to be depressing.
Amir What kind of quiz is it?
Sarah It’s a nutrition quiz. You, like, put in what you eat and it tells you how long you have to live.
Amir Oh, wow, me and Jake did a quiz once …
Jake No we didn’t.
Amir … and it told us which Sex and the Cities character we were, so don’t think you’re special or unique.
Jake OK, here you go, question one: How often do you eat vegetables?
Amir Ten times a day.
Sarah Really? Good job.
Jake You don’t eat vegetables ten times a day.
Amir Oh, I thought you said how much do you eat every day and that vegetables was your nickname for me.
Jake No, he’s being serious. How much fruit do you eat?
Amir Well, is BBQ sauce a fruit, cause it’s red and …
Sarah No.
Jake She’s being polite, she meant to say: Of course it’s not, obviously, you fucking retard.
Amir Alright, what about fries, that’s a potato, or … apples or ketchup.
Sarah Well apples, apples are a fruit.
Amir Eh, OK, still zero then.
Jake OK, I’ll skip the question about vitamins because I assume you don’t know what those are.
Amir Thank you soul mate.
Sarah Alright, ah, how many times do you eat fast food in a week?
Amir Sparingly.
Sarah Oh, that’s great.
Jake No, watch this. Amir, what does sparingly mean?
Amir All day, every day, every hour – got a chicken nugget in my pocket, got to put it in my mouth …
Sarah Jesus, where did that even come from?
Jake He just has them.
Amir Anyway, what does it say? How long do I got? Sixty years? Two hundred years?
Jake Stop.
Amir Three hundred years?
Jake According to this you should have been dead ten years ago.
Amir Living on borrowed time. Pretty chill. Pretty poetic.
Sarah Yeah … no, you should watch what you eat Amir.
Amir I do watch. I watch it go in my mouth.
Jake See you don’t even do that.
Amir Whatever.
Jake Will you at least pick that up?
Amir Five minute rule.
NOTES:
Why is it funny?
* Amir says “I’m still here” which is what you’d say if three people were hanging out together and two of them started to have a conversation as if the other person wasn’t here. But in this case it’s odd because he’s at a different desk – and they’re at work, not hanging out.
* Sex and the City shouldn’t be plural.
* After Jake says this (hilarious) line: “ … of course it’s not, obviously, you fucking retard”, Amir carries on like normal, and doesn’t even notice the insult.
* Amir gets jealous that Jake is doing an online quiz with Sarah – “Oh, wow, me and Jake did a quiz once … so don’t think you’re special or unique. a normal person wouldn’t get jealous about that.
* Amir asks if BBQ sauce is a fruit, "cause it’s red”.
* Amir eats fast foot all the time and doesn’t know that there’s anything wrong with that.
* A chicken nugget appears out of nowhere.
* Amir says: “What about apples” for no reason because he doesn’t even eat apples.
* Jake says: “OK, I’ll skip the question about vitamins because I assume you don’t know what those are.” A normal person would be insulted that someone said they didn’t know what vitamins are, but instead Amir thanks Jake for being so considerate: “Thank you soul mate”.
* Amir thinks it’s a good thing ("pretty chill") that he is “living on borrowed time”.
* Amir doesn’t understand the idiom “to watch what you eat”
* Amir misquotes and misuses the “five second rule”.
Movie Debate
Amir No way, no way, Jurassic Prak 2 was so underrated.
Jake How can you say that, Jurassic Park 2 was terrible.
Amir Not true, Jeff Goldblum was in it. And the special effects were phenomenal for the time.
Jake Special effects? Name one good special effect in that movie.
Amir Um, the part where the T hypen rex attacks San Diego.
Jake Alright, ah, yeah, I guess I’ll give you that. See this is the kind of shit we should be talking about none of this weird … go, take me to dinner and all that … movies.
Amir Defiantly.
Jake What?
Amir Shti. Shit. Oops. Sorry. Phone’s ringing. Burb. BRB.. It’s my step brother, I need to take this. Stop talking. You’re an idiot. I’m an idiot. Amir Blumenfeld is an idiot.
Jake OK wow. Uh, I see what’s going on, Patrick, why would you agree to this?
Amir Amir said he’d pay me $1453. No, I didn’t I said $1553.
Jake OK, that’s more.
Amir Patrick you fucked me on this. No I didn’t. Any retard would have stopped reading this by now. You’re still reading. This is insane. Patrick stop. I’m still reading this, like an idiot. I’m the biggest idiot in the world. Patrick stop it. Jake will never be friends with me. Jake will never like me. Jake will never like me.
Jake Patrick stop.
Amir C H Patrick has logged off.
Jake Come on.
4th of July
Jake Did you get this email?
Amir Huh?
Jake Did you get this email?
Amir No, I didn’t, I didn’t even bring my computer in today, honestly.
Jake Where were you 4th of July weekend?
Amir Ah, I went to … I went to the home, to my home. I went home 4th of July weekend.
Jake You went home?
Amir Yeah. It was crazy!
Jake OK. Are you sure you went home 4th of July weekend?
Amir Was that a Tuesday?
Jake It was a weekend. Friday.
Amir I went home.
Jake Just so you know this email is a surveillance video that security took because they want to know who this was staying in the office all weekend. And you were home this weekend?
Amir I was at my … home …
Jake Come over here and watch this video with me.
Amir OK, good. I want to know what happened in the office cause I was at, I was at home.
Jake Alright, so that’s not you dancing?
Amir Ah, wow, no. That looks like me though, so I can see … I’m not offended because that guy’s handsome and so am I. But, holy … that was awesome, or I was ... that is … that is an awesome dance, whoever that is.
Jake Alright, how about …this is … who’s this in a penguin costume saying Jake over and over again.
Amir I can see … honestly I can see why you would think it was me.
Jake Yeah.
Amir It’s logical to think that.
Jake Uh-huh.
Amir It wasn’t … though.
Jake OK. How about when this guy comes right up to the camera?
Tape Amir Du-du-du-du-du-du … yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, one second, one second, hey, hey security, hey, it’s Amir.
Amir See that could be any Amir. He just said Amir.
Tape Amir It’s Amir Blumenfeld, specifically.
Amir That? Oh, that is me, but … I think that wasn’t …
Tape Amir And it’s the 4th of July weekend and I’m …
Amir You know, this is … that is my house.
Tape Amir And I’m in the office. I ain’t at home bitches!
Amir I was here.
Jake Just go.
Amir Yeah, OK.
NOTES:
Why is it funny?
It’s ridiculous that:
a. Amir wouldn’t bring his computer to work ( he works for a website)
b. Amir would say “Was it a Tuesday?” When "4th of July weekend" is a weekend, obviously.
c. Anyone would stay in the office all weekend, dancing strangely, wearing a penguin costume and say Jake’s name over and over, talking to the security camera
d. Amir would deny it’s him in the camera when it obviously is
This is also funny:
* The juxtaposition of some relatively sophisticated-sounding language (more complex than a child would usually use, such as “It’s logical to think that” ) with childlike intelligence, reasoning and sense of values, humour etc.
* The timing – right after Amir makes each excuse the camera proves him wrong.
* I wrote the above scripts and notes. Find more scripts/quotes here.
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