Show 1064 Thursday 18 June
Watch today’s show at YouTube or BlipTV.
Hi, I’m Sarah, welcome to The Daily English Show.
Recently YouTube featured some videos of speeches from some university graduation ceremonies in America and I watched a few of them. And I thought some of them were really funny and inspiring – and some of them didn’t really do it for me.
One of the videos I really liked was actually from a few years ago. It was a video of Ellen DeGeneres speaking at a university in 2006.
Ellen is a comedian and actress and a TV host. She has a TV show called The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
She spoke briefly at this graduation ceremony – and I thought it was pretty funny. I’m going to talk about some of the jokes, so go and watch it now if you want them to be a surprise.
The first joke is that she is wearing a bathrobe and she says: They told me everybody would be wearing robes. Because the special clothes that people wear at these ceremonies are also called robes.
Another funny thing is that it’s a very formal situation and most of the speakers say very formal things – but she says stuff that you wouldn’t normally say in that situation, like: Who's as hungover as I am? Anybody?
And then she talks about the microphones. She says: And why the two mics? Why not just one?
And my favourite lines are … firstly this one, near the end, she says: That's all really. I know you're tired, but … And then you think that she’s going to say an important, brief point. But she says: there's a book I'd like to repeat to you.
And then at the end she says: I do want to say it's important as you go out into the world to remember … And this is the kind of thing that people say before giving a profound piece of advice … but she says: my show is on at different times in different cities.
STICK NEWS
Kia ora in Stick News today an 18-year-old girl who had 56 stars tattooed on her face says she asked the artist for three stars.
A girl in Belgium has 56 stars tattooed on her face.
She says she asked the artist for three stars and blames language difficulties for the miscommunication. She also claims she fell asleep while she was getting the tattoo and woke up to what she calls a nightmare.
But the tattoo artist says she was happy with the work when she left the shop and changed her mind when her father saw her face.
And that was Stick News for Thursday 18th of June.
Kia ora.
Word of the Day
Today’s word is numb.
If a part of your body is numb, you can’t feel anything in it.
For example, your toes can be numb if it’s really cold.
Or your face can be numb after you go to the dentist.
And if you sit down for too long, your bottom can become numb.
During graduation ceremonies people have to sit down for a long time and in her speech Ellen said:
Who's arse is completely numb? Anybody? Who has any feeling?
conversations with sarah
#674 I didn’t go
Step 1: Repeat Dave’s lines.
Step 2: Read Dave’s lines and talk to Sarah.
Dave What was your graduation ceremony like?
Sarah I don’t know. I didn’t go.
Dave Why not?
Sarah Partly because I couldn’t really afford it. I’d already borrowed so much money to pay for the degree that it seemed kind of stupid to borrow even more just to go to a ceremony.
Dave Was it really expensive?
Sarah Um, I can’t remember how much it would have cost. But I know you had to buy tickets and you also had to hire the costume … thing.
Dave But you still got the degree?
Sarah Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to go to the ceremony, they post you the certificate.
1:52
They told me everybody would be wearing robes.
Anybody staying at the ? Could you return this for me? That would great.
Who's as hungover as I am? Anybody?
And why the two mics? Why not just one? What happens if I talk in this one? Why? Is this one better?
This is, ah, I was in town and, ah, whenever I get a chance to speak after presidents, I say, "Get me in there".
And this is the closest I'll ever come to graduating, so I thought I would join you.
I never went to collage. I lived here. I was born and raised here. My mother worked at Nucam (?), ah, when I was a little girl, so I spent time here. She left a sweater, if anybody sees it, it's blue. Or green. I don’t remember, I was little.
Um, seriously, ah, you're, you’re amazing people. You're a very famous graduating class, as you know. Ah, to go through what you've gone through, to, to get this far and all of a sudden have to be displaced and go to different schools is, ah, is quite an experience, that I think will form you, shape you and, and, ah, and mould you and suddenly you're jello, um.
I don't know what to say.
Ah, really, I came up with ... you know, to take care of yourselves, cause when you’re younger you don’t really listen … your parents tell you … and so I, I really want to say, exfoliate, ah, no wait, hydrate is first, then exfoliate, and then moisturise, and then exercise and then floss. So HEMEF, if you can remember that, that way, HEMEF.
OK. Love you.
Um. That's all really. I know you're tired, but there's a book I'd like to repeat to you. And show you a quick film.
Who's arse is completely numb? Anybody? Who has any feeling? Any hands?
No, you, ah, you deserve to go. So I really just, I just, I do want to say it's important as you go out into the world to remember my show is on at different times in different cities. So check your local listings and ... for times and channels.
Good luck everybody!
filming notes
The photos for today's ending were taken today (Thursday 18th June 2009) at MSK JR Apartment in Kutchan, Hokkaido, Japan.
links
today's news
today's STICK NEWS pictures
Ellen Degeneres - Wikipedia
The Ellen Degeneres Show - Wikipedia
The Ellen Degeneres Show - Site
Ellen DeGeneres at Tulane's 2006 Commencement
Ellen DeGeneres at Tulane's 2009 Commencement
music
show start
artist: Kevin MacLeod
track: Future Cha Cha
from: Brooklyn, NY, United States
artist site
WOD start
artist: DJ iPep's
album: Home Mix 2007
track: Game Toy
from: EVREUX, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site
cws start
artist: Kevin MacLeod
track: The Jazz Woman
from: Brooklyn, NY, United States
artist site
qa start
artist: ioeo
album: triptracks
track: triptrack2
from: Saint Raphael, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site
qa bgm
artist: Kevin MacLeod
track: Flutey Funk
from: Brooklyn, NY, United States
artist site
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